P31P Day 5: Verse 14

I am not sure about all my sister-friends out there, but the words “Kroger” and “H.E.B” do not stir up kind feelings in the sanctuary of my small country home.

The only time this heart flips with joy at the thought of grocery shopping is when there is a “Whole Foods” involved. And let me be forthright. It is entirely because I gawk at the artistic stylings of their dessert-designers.

Imagine my amazement when verse 14 was assigned to me for the Proverbs 31 Project. “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” That Jesus we serve. He does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?

Through the study of this verse I have begun to embrace that on a biblical level I have a duty to provide nourishing, healthy meals for my family.

Don’t get me wrong. I shop and cook. And most of the time, I even fix a healthier option than what the hubs enjoys, poor guy. But embracing it as a biblical responsibility has never been on my radar. That sounds so much weightier than “what’s for dinner?”

As I have begun to view this "duty" through the eyes of my Creator, the frustration eases and I find myself not dreading 6pm so much.

But I also see more in this passage. Just as we provide the physical food for our families, we also have the ability to deliver spiritual nourishment through our communion with the Lord.

Like the mini-van that weekly unloads the protein that builds the muscle of our little ones (and our men), so the meat of the Word poured from our lips brings strength to their bones.

So may the grocers of the world be filled with more light-hearted women as we embrace the joy of healthy provision.

Hanging out today over at http://www.unrehearsedadventure.blogspot.com/   Click the link below to join this challenging yet virtuous discussion:

Welcome to a VIRTUOUS October!!!

vir-tu-ous

[vur-choo-uhs]

1. conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright: Lead a virtuous life

2. chaste: a virtuous young person

Any of my friends out there laughing with me? Even just a little bit? 

What an unimaginable feat. "morally excellent?" "upright?" ME?!

OK. So are you laughing now?

Over the last few weeks, I have been reading commentaries and digging into proverbs 31. And I assure you, ladies, it can be a tad daunting. But I believe that should we strive to be more like her...yes, HER...I believe we will find ourselves. Not necessarily find ourselves in some miraculous state of being. But literally find ourselves. 

I know it will be a great adventure as a conglomerate of women bound only by their IP address embark on this journey together. But won't you join us?

Click on the link below to join this challenging yet virtuous discussion: 

A Month with The Virtuous Woman

Beginning on Friday, October 1st, my amazingly talented sister-in-law will kick off Proverbs 31 month on her blog. Which, if you haven't read, is a greater tradegy than running out of ice cream while pregnant!! I mean seriously, what are you doing with your time, people?!

Check it out here: www.larawilliams.org

I am so excited to be partnering with her and 7 other talented bloggers to bring you a entire month with the virtuous woman.

I can  tell you that this journey has already been one of challenge for me in my own walk, so I hope it will be for you as well.

So here is how it is going to work. We will walk through verses 10-31, with one verse being addressed each weekday. There will be 2 guest bloggers each week. It will be a wonderful adventure to see how the Lord shapes our thoughts into one coherant flow.

So, visit us as we take this journey together.

Anxiety Conquered.

Anxiety comes at me like a flood.
Uncontrollable. Sudden. Unwelcomed.


Be anxious for nothing...
Be. Anxious. For. Nothing.


But in everything by prayer and supplication...
With Prayer.
And Supplication
Supplication: an intensity of earnestness in prayer - extended prayer - not to gain merit - but to fully transfer...
...Fully Transfer...
the burden of my soul into Gods hands.


With thanksgiving..
always with thanksgiving; a heart full of praise, a heart that freely worships, dances naked in the streets before the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords - with thanksgiving.


Let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace...
the peace that is only found in the ever-embracing arms of true love


The peace of God which surpasses all understanding...
Repeat...all. all. ALL!


All understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. 


Thank you, Jesus. That you not only see and know, but you guard. Stand guard over this heart and mind as I let my requests be known to you with earnestness and praise.

(Philippians 4:6-7)

Truth Infused

IV Therapy. It's what people are given when consuming a medication or fluids orally just isn't fast enough. When the concerns are dire and situation immediate.

Today, I feel my "eating" of the Word just isn't fast enough. I need an infusion of His truth today. An immediate dose of truth to the in most parts of this hormonally permeated spirit. Wisdom, truth, life that outranks and crushes the swirl of uncertainty that can so quickly blind, if allowed.

I reason with myself. I speak worldly realities. I remind myself. But it is only when I speak the truth, His Truth, over my restless spirit that peace exudes. Only then, that the heart is captured and overwhelmed by this great God who knows, who loves, who see, and who answers.

He has already answered, in fact. Infuse my spirit, Lord, that I may rest in perfect peace.

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

A Chicken Little Morning

So, past, present and future mommies-to-be...ever had a "chicken little"morning? Oh you know what I'm preaching...but just in case, let me paint the scene. 


POINT ONE: Dave works 3-11pm right now. I work 8a-5pm. We. do. not. see. each. other. awake. (Save my many middle of the night jaunts to the facilities, every. two. hours. but that's a completely different story...) 


POINT TWO: On Monday, the belly officially "popped," so I am looking quite dapper in my maternity clothes. Though, I'm CONVINCED at any moment my belly button will explode out my front and the baby, as well all my innards, will come flying out in one beautiful blaze of glory. Thankfully, my present mommy friends tell me that indeed, I will just stretch. Ever tried to read Hebrew or Greek? yeah, see that whole stretching concept ranks right up there in the "huh?!" category. 


I digress... 


POINT THREE: I stepped on the scale, as I am habit to do every morning while the shower is pulling hot water from the center of the earth (that's how long it feels like it's taking anyway, am I right?!), and for the first time in this new season called pregnancy, that blessed little black number was seriously on the rise. 


So, where do I immediately find myself -- you guessed it, friends! -- right back in the bed with that man who loves me in all my invisible (point one), uncertain (point two) and growing (point three) insanity.  And like the amazing man he is, he wrapped his arms around me, told me how beautiful I was, kissed my big ol pregnant belly and let me cry until I was all done. 


And then...he made me pancakes... 


So, while the day started off feeling a bit like the sky is falling, my knight arrived in his armor again to rescue me from the silliest (and often deadliest) of foes...myself.  


Here's to all the great men out there. You help us wives take our eyes off the falling sky and put them on the things we love.

We're a THREE

Well ... we are almost a three. For now, we are a two and an alien ameoba peanut that makes me an emotional mess. Yesterday, I literally sat on the floor in the bathroom at work and cried. Just cried my eyes out. For. No. Reason.... Well, there was a tiny reason. Regardless, its not something that would have brought me to the brink of near hyperventilation before. Yet, there I was. Baby baby cry face.

Excitement is the buzz around out home. Excitement about this new bundle of joy that will be entering our home in under 7 months. It's insane to me how short 9 months can feel while watching other women be pregnant. And how mind-tinglingly short it can feel when I think about what I have to do, should do, should care about doing, should eat, should exercise, should pray, should think, should tell people, should not tell people. IT'S A TAD OVERWHELMING.

And yet there is this amazingly beautiful peace.

A peace that I don't know I've ever felt before. Peace that God Himself, the one who created the universe is holding me. Holding my baby. Holding my womb and making it a comfy and safe environment for this little life. Peace that the money will be there to buy a crib..and a dresser...and a changing table...and ... and.. and...do I need to go on? Peace that He is the Giver of Life. And I am thankful for this life growing in my belly. I am thankful for the peace that He has allowed to reign over my body. While most women in this stage of pregnancy are throwing up, nauseated, and exhausted. I am feeling wonderful. Tired, but wonderful. I am thankful for my man. Words can not express the passion, love, adoration and appreciation I feel toward him. He is the prophet, priest and king of my home and I am safe under his protection.

So, there we are. Becoming a Three. And I am blessed.

The Death Of Family

Update: 4/13/2010: The latest news is that the fiancée stated he knew the kids were in the house when he started the fire. He has been charged with two murders and arson, not sure about charges in the threat to the police officer. There will be a visitation "Thursday from 4-8pm. Fridays service starts at 11am but is only open to family, friends and officials who helped bring justice to my children." (<--from Steve's (dad) facebook) 


Please pray for the family and friends as they gather. And for some of us, this song by our friends, Building429 has provided peace and strength:  Always by Building429 


Thanks Jason for writing truth in love. Thanks Ben for reminding me of this song. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night Dave and I got horrible news from a family member. Dave's 2nd cousins, ages 8 and 5 were killed in a house fire. A house fire set by their mother's fiancée. It is unknown at this time if the children were killed before the fire or by the fire. The man fled and was found 200 miles north in another state where a police chase ensued. When the tire puncturing strips finally stopped his car, he jumped out with a knife and tried to kill a police officer. He was tazed  and is currently hospitalized. He is charged with the murders of the children, arson and the attempted murder of a police officer. See the latest article here:  Suspect Stopped in Covington

When we got the news, I immediately broke into tears. I don't know these children or their immediate family (except their grandmother who is my mother in law's sister). But the evil overwhelmed me.  And I don't know what to do with it all.

Feelings of:

• This guy should be strapped to a chair in a house. Light the thing on fire and let him burn. 
• I shouldn't think that way, I should want him to know Christ and the power of his redemption. 
• Speaking of Christ and redemption; where is the redemption in this situation? How will he redeem this evil?
• Praying for their father to not do anything rash. Last we heard, the family is keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't head up there and kill this guy. (Any father would be justified in wanting to kill the man who maliciously murdered his children.)
• Praying for God's justice and vengeance to spill out on this man. Is it alright to pray that? To ask God for his justice to reign down on evil? What about when his children do evil things? He loves all His children the same, but the consequences of sin are of varying degrees, right? 
• How do I get all of this off my heart and mind without poisoning the minds and hearts of my dearest friends with this evil and fear? I have so many friends who want children more than anything, so to encounter the malicious taking of the very dearest thing to them would be heartbreaking.  
• Why God? Why? Why? Why? Why would you allow this? WHY. 

Typically in the past, I have been able to resolve my soul struggles of why with "God has a purpose." I have spoken this over myself so many times. Why divorce, why death, why pain? "God has a purpose and we live in a fallen world under the influence of sin and death." And while I believe those things, something in me rises up in this situation, screaming and shaking my fists at the sky that those answers are not enough. They are not enough to fill this gaping hole. This act was not of God. I wrestle to accept if it could be in His will. I dare say it is not His will, but He allowed it. And my gut turns and cringes when I say "he allowed it." I wrestle with "God is in control of everything." I wrestle with the Christian-ese things we tell ourselves when we face unanswerable questions. The unanswerable questions that are entirely evil. That are entirely instigated and executed by Satan himself. 

Thanks for reading my vent. Thanks for joining me in prayer for the parents of the children, Steve and Lisa Lynch, for grandmother Leona. Pray for justice to be done, however God would see that come to be. 

Oh great God, I know your ways are not our ways. I know your thoughts are higher than mine. I know you see the end and the beginning. You know the vast depth of human spirit and soul. You know the answers to my feelings and I am thankful that you can handle it when I shake my fist in the air in pain and confusion. I know that you see my heart and you will bring clarity. Bring clarity oh God. Clarity and peace in the midst of a broken, sinful and evil situation. 

Audience of One

Father, 
You move so quickly sometimes, with such speed that its easy for my weak mind to even see that it is indeed you zipping by. You speak through others, through me even, and you do it so smoothly and discreetly that if I'm not looking, not watching for your appearances, I miss them. Open my eyes, my ears, my mind, my heart to see you in the day to day. I saw you today in Marsha's words; I believe you were in the midst of that wisdom. I saw you in this new job placement: the timing, the people, the boldness you gave me. I see you in my marriage - the miraculous healing you have done and continue to do. I see you in this move to Texas: our jobs, our family, our church -this deep community you have given us there; I can't wait to see what you do from here. You are everywhere. Moving all the time -providing, searching, knowing, loving, guiding, protecting. And there is peace that I can rest in these things. That despite the world - its demands and cries for attention and affection - despite the constant tearing at my spirit, that you are here. You are the center of it all and you Lord never fail. Help me see you. Help me know you. Help me rest in you. 

He Plants.

I am so inspired by my sister-in-law, Lara. She has the ability to see God in the everyday. Check out her latest blog about this very subject here: He Asked I have been so inspired that this morning in my overly drowsy state while waking, I asked the Lord for this gift. Lord, let me see you in the everyday, in the mundane parts of my day, I want to see you. 


Imagine my surprise when He answered! ;o) He's so good at that isn't He?!


Dave and I have been preparing our little 25x20 foot garden. The soil is fantastic. It's dark with tons of earthworms. The tree in the middle of our porch provides just the right amount of shade over the yard so that the Texas sun won't scorch the plants. It seems that the landscape of our yard is just right so that the water runoff flows through the garden. Once we add a little soaker hose, it will hopefully be fantastic! 


Let me backtrack to this fantastic tree I mentioned. I have a love-hate relationship with this grand creation. While the shade it provides is amazing, it is in the process of "popping out" for spring. Bright green leaves are filling out and it is dropping  thousands upon thousands of its seedlings. I don't know what kind of tree it is, but the seedlings are long, brown and snaky looking. ....And they have COVERED my precious garden soil. 


So, today, Dave and I are in the garden raking these blessed tree children out of the garden. (We are prepping to plant tomorrow since rain is coming later this week). As I'm raking, I was finding myself rather impressed with the dark soil I was uncovering. It was beautiful. And then it hit me. 


God knows the soil that we have beneath the messy things the world drops on us. He sees the potential that lies beneath. Like the gardener, He gently works the soil, pulling the mess off the top and sometimes digging a little deeper to pull out the weeds. And then sometimes He surgically removes that which would strangle the very life He is about to plant. (I have images of Dave and the 1/4" in diameter tree root he found today. That poor root got its guts chopped to bits -sweat and dirt and root bits flying everywhere, poor guy.) And when the soil is right, when it has been prepped and made ready to receive, He plants. 


Thanks Lord for showing me You in the everyday. May my eyes continue to be open. 

Rebirth

This time last year we were packing Dave's bags and prepping to send him off to the great state of Texas. My how time flies, huh? He was leading the way for me and coming out to get a lay of the land, see what this great flat state might have to offer this wandering couple.

Little did we know what transformations would happen between April 2009 and today. We arrived with such grand plans. Plans that seemed at the time to be the exact path that the Lord would have us walk. I mean, after all, we had prayed about it for a whopping 15 seconds, right?! Despite our flighty, half-thought through misadventures, Christ met me here. He met me in the midst of the month apart, the packing of our home without half of me, the repainting of an apartment, the final goodbyes.

And this decision, the most drastic decision I have ever agreed to, become a most beautiful rebirth of two people.

This rebirth has not been without pain, I assure you. No birth can be. But the joy on the other side of the pain has been well worth the agony. Just as a mother's body contracts and releases, writhes and wrenches in the pain of childbirth; so has my life and that of the man closest to me over the last 11 months. And now we sit with a beautiful new life in our arms.

I'm sitting in the home we just bought, looking at my yard, eating dinner I cooked on brand new appliances that we bought. Tomorrow we will celebrate the birthday of my father-in-law, a man I only call Dad. A man who is honorable, loving, God fearing and Christ honoring. A man who is pouring his life into my husband. And my heart nearly explodes with the blessing of having him in my life. Dave is launching a construction business. Not in the way of a rushed youngster with his eye on dollar signs. But in the way of a man who is seeking to provide for his wife and children. A man who is constantly seeking wisdom and guidance as he prepares to set himself as the primary and one day sole provider for our family.

So, I thank you Lord. Thank you for leading me to a desert. A desert that would prove to be the most fertile ground for this heart of mine. Thank you, Lord, for the little things - a neighbor who heard I was sick and brought tea, soup, and bread without asking if they could; laughter with my husband; friends who gather for birthdays not out of obligation but because of the importance of community; for the overabundance of cats that roam our yard looking like lions ready to pounce. Thank you for my family and the one day growth of that family. Thank you Lord for my husband, words will never be enough to express my gratitude to you for choosing such a perfect match for me; I adore him. Thank you for the life you have grown from this desert. I look forward to what surprises you have in the future.

Julie & Julia....and Julie ....

It's a new day! I am faced with:
1. Piles of laundry -- the after effects of a fantastic holiday getaway --
2. A fridge that looks nearly brand new -- thanks to it's LACK of food items, ha!
3. A car that needs a washin' -- poor thing was white, now greyish...with spots...
4. Work issues that need workin' out...
...and...one of the most inspiring movies I have seen in a REALLY long time....

JULIE & JULIA

...now the name, of course is absolutely delightful, but the content will have even the faintest at heart running to bake something fantastic...although it may be a tad bit sadistic, it will be flavorful! I must say I have been inspired. Yet, groceries are still the bane of my existence...so, I remain torn. Or perhaps I should take this gusto and run with it...Yes, young padawan...go get groceries now so the pain will not be as great. For it will be masked beneath the enjoyment of food.

I seriously recommend this movie to anyone who likes to cook or just likes to laugh. It was hilarious, heartwarming and worth the $1.08 at the local Redbox.

...now, to HEB or my couch for another round?!.....

I want to be Jake Sully

Last night Dave and I, his parents and his brother Ben went to see Avatar. I was excited to see what all the hype has been about, and Dave guaranteed me that I would LOOOOOVE it! ;o)



He was right. Not only did I love the movie, there was a certain scene that brought me to tears. Of course everyone cries at certain parts - destruction, death, etc etc. (I don't want to give too much away for those who haven't seen it). But I cried at what seemed to me to be a strange part. Do you ever do that? You're sitting there crying and you zoom out for a second and say "what in the heck are you crying for ... are you on crack?!"



There is a scene toward the end of the movie when Jake Sully is rallying the Na'vi to join together and fight the humans. They are about to lose everything, even their lives at the hands of an enemy with more firepower and disrespect for everything sacred. He reminds the people of who they are, who they are fighting, and what they are fighting for. The next few scenes show the people, driven by a clearly defined purpose and passion, seeking out those who would come alongside them and fight for what is right.



I have often been inspired by characters and people like these - the fighters, the leaders, those who will not back down to injustice or stand idly by while evil runs rampant. Those who are willing to give all they have to see justice done and love prevail.



I want to be a revolutionary. Someone who isn't afraid to fight for a cause. Someone who will stand up for what's right and not back down when evil roars. Someone who can fix their eyes on the goal and not let up until it's finished. Someone who will fight for something worth fighting for. My prayer is that the Lord will dig into me the cause that will capture my heart.