God's back in dark seasons

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not seen ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have recently come out a darker season of life. Those moments when I'm not sure which way is up because I let the enemy speak too loudly. I let him murmur a little too long in my ear. And I find my self upside down and sideways because I have replaced the clear voice of the Father with the dull pain of the enemy's condemnation and lies. He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)

But now on the other side of this dark season, I see the Lord more clearly. I see how His hand was moving and working for my good...for His glory. His. Glory. Oh that I may be a tool for His use! For His glory! That He would mold and shape and make me into whatever brings Him the most praise and honor. That I would humbly bow and submit. For He knows all things. He holds all things. If it weren't for Him, to dust we would return. If He removed His hand but for a moment, all things would come shattering down. 

I was listening to One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp on Audible. (If you haven't read this book, do it. Just go buy it right now. Ah-may-zing....) She spoke so clearly to where I was....

Wasn't that too His way with Moses? "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back. (Exodus 33:22-23 NIV) 

Is that it? When it gets dark, it's only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? In the pitch, I feel like I'm falling, sense the bridge giving way, God long absent. In the dark, the bridge and my world shakes, cracking dreams. But maybe this is true reality: It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors. Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, I-beam support in earthquake. Then He will remove His hand. Then we will look. Then we look back and see His back. 

I am so thankful that the Lord is near to me. That He hears when I call and He responds. I mean, seriously? The God of the Universe....responding to me?! Caring about me? Loving me? Listening to me lament my daily problems? I am thankful that He is near. That in the darkest of nights, He is passing by.