Why Write?

Writing does something for me. I dont' know what it is, but it fuels something in my soul. It brings out thoughts I can't seem to articulate with my lips. It's the camcorder for the moments, days and years of my life. I can look back over 20 plus journals that cronical the last 10 years and see where I was and where I am now. I can see the beautiful ways the Lord has heard His daughter and answered. I can see the growth of my faith, the lack of faith in dark seasons, the struggles, the fear, the joy, the thankfulness. All of it. All of life staring back at me from the pages.

I see the journeys of faith. Single. College. Boyfriends. India. Peru. Mexico. Philly. Full-Time Ministry. Married. Saying hello to in-laws. Saying good-bye to my father. Attempting full time student-hood again. Starting and ending a business. Deep financial struggle. Moving across the country. Darkness. Joining the community that's becoming family. Reconciliation and Redemption. Buying a home. Saying hello to a step-family. Becoming a Mother.

When I get a new journal, I always sit for a moment staring at that first blank page. I don't know what it is about it, but there is something inviting. Something beckoning to me to record life. To fill the pages with the beauty and the strife that is the life we all live. A place to be real. To be honest. To be naked.

I am thankful for the writing. Thankful I have recorded life in this way. Reading back reminds me of where we have been, where we are, and where we will be one day soon.

Reading takes me right back to the full emotional brunt of whatever was flowing that day. My tenuous personality is obvious. My fear, faithlessness, begging and tears are clear. And alongside, His faithful oozes from the pages. His truth screams freedom. And I remember. I thank. And I rest.