The Death Of Family

Update: 4/13/2010: The latest news is that the fiancée stated he knew the kids were in the house when he started the fire. He has been charged with two murders and arson, not sure about charges in the threat to the police officer. There will be a visitation "Thursday from 4-8pm. Fridays service starts at 11am but is only open to family, friends and officials who helped bring justice to my children." (<--from Steve's (dad) facebook) 


Please pray for the family and friends as they gather. And for some of us, this song by our friends, Building429 has provided peace and strength:  Always by Building429 


Thanks Jason for writing truth in love. Thanks Ben for reminding me of this song. 


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Last night Dave and I got horrible news from a family member. Dave's 2nd cousins, ages 8 and 5 were killed in a house fire. A house fire set by their mother's fiancée. It is unknown at this time if the children were killed before the fire or by the fire. The man fled and was found 200 miles north in another state where a police chase ensued. When the tire puncturing strips finally stopped his car, he jumped out with a knife and tried to kill a police officer. He was tazed  and is currently hospitalized. He is charged with the murders of the children, arson and the attempted murder of a police officer. See the latest article here:  Suspect Stopped in Covington

When we got the news, I immediately broke into tears. I don't know these children or their immediate family (except their grandmother who is my mother in law's sister). But the evil overwhelmed me.  And I don't know what to do with it all.

Feelings of:

• This guy should be strapped to a chair in a house. Light the thing on fire and let him burn. 
• I shouldn't think that way, I should want him to know Christ and the power of his redemption. 
• Speaking of Christ and redemption; where is the redemption in this situation? How will he redeem this evil?
• Praying for their father to not do anything rash. Last we heard, the family is keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't head up there and kill this guy. (Any father would be justified in wanting to kill the man who maliciously murdered his children.)
• Praying for God's justice and vengeance to spill out on this man. Is it alright to pray that? To ask God for his justice to reign down on evil? What about when his children do evil things? He loves all His children the same, but the consequences of sin are of varying degrees, right? 
• How do I get all of this off my heart and mind without poisoning the minds and hearts of my dearest friends with this evil and fear? I have so many friends who want children more than anything, so to encounter the malicious taking of the very dearest thing to them would be heartbreaking.  
• Why God? Why? Why? Why? Why would you allow this? WHY. 

Typically in the past, I have been able to resolve my soul struggles of why with "God has a purpose." I have spoken this over myself so many times. Why divorce, why death, why pain? "God has a purpose and we live in a fallen world under the influence of sin and death." And while I believe those things, something in me rises up in this situation, screaming and shaking my fists at the sky that those answers are not enough. They are not enough to fill this gaping hole. This act was not of God. I wrestle to accept if it could be in His will. I dare say it is not His will, but He allowed it. And my gut turns and cringes when I say "he allowed it." I wrestle with "God is in control of everything." I wrestle with the Christian-ese things we tell ourselves when we face unanswerable questions. The unanswerable questions that are entirely evil. That are entirely instigated and executed by Satan himself. 

Thanks for reading my vent. Thanks for joining me in prayer for the parents of the children, Steve and Lisa Lynch, for grandmother Leona. Pray for justice to be done, however God would see that come to be. 

Oh great God, I know your ways are not our ways. I know your thoughts are higher than mine. I know you see the end and the beginning. You know the vast depth of human spirit and soul. You know the answers to my feelings and I am thankful that you can handle it when I shake my fist in the air in pain and confusion. I know that you see my heart and you will bring clarity. Bring clarity oh God. Clarity and peace in the midst of a broken, sinful and evil situation. 

Audience of One

Father, 
You move so quickly sometimes, with such speed that its easy for my weak mind to even see that it is indeed you zipping by. You speak through others, through me even, and you do it so smoothly and discreetly that if I'm not looking, not watching for your appearances, I miss them. Open my eyes, my ears, my mind, my heart to see you in the day to day. I saw you today in Marsha's words; I believe you were in the midst of that wisdom. I saw you in this new job placement: the timing, the people, the boldness you gave me. I see you in my marriage - the miraculous healing you have done and continue to do. I see you in this move to Texas: our jobs, our family, our church -this deep community you have given us there; I can't wait to see what you do from here. You are everywhere. Moving all the time -providing, searching, knowing, loving, guiding, protecting. And there is peace that I can rest in these things. That despite the world - its demands and cries for attention and affection - despite the constant tearing at my spirit, that you are here. You are the center of it all and you Lord never fail. Help me see you. Help me know you. Help me rest in you.