I feel so restless tonight. Dave is out at guys night, and I have to be on the road at 430 in the morning to Houston to serve coffee. Mind you, my OWN Starbucks won't be available for ME to get coffee that early, but I will be serving it to OTHERS. Good thing I have that whole Jesus heart thing going, righto?!
In any event, I digress -- you would think I would be happy to curl up in my bed, effectively stealing the man's pillow, turn the ceiling fan on high (because there is an endless debate in our home that it is hot, no cold, no hot, no COLD...it's COLD dang it And I like it that way!), and just go to sleep. After all, I am 6 hours from being on the road.
But nope. Here I sit.
I am in a position in which I don't know whether to laugh and shrug off the cares of my work world, or embrace them as a needed change. I wish for the life of me I could be a man these days. Albeit, not literally...that would definitely cause some problems in our little gossip hungry town and the hubs would be all too unhappy about the sudden change (HEY! Maybe then I could go to guys night, drink all the caloric beer I wanted, and still stay at 145lbs. HA! My luck? I would be the beer gut guy...)
Why do I wish I was a male at this point in my career? Because men seem to have the uncanny ability to separate. SEP-AR-ATE. <--see that's what they do.
They seem to look at a situation and are able to extrapolate the fact from the feeling. Whereas I, a daughter of Eve, am not. I look at the staff and think: "Hhmmm..she must be emotionally struggling if she just threw that Frappuccino in the face of an elderly lady with a cane and one of those shoes that has one sole fatter than the other." Rather than: " YOU ARE FIRED." <--man speak ... uuuuugghhh! (Maybe if I grunt, would that help? Tim Taylor type mannerisms?!)
In addition, I am also a bonafide (BON-A-FIDE) pessimist. I am learning to embrace this part of me as reality and yet cast it off as an awfully poopy way to view the world. Regardless (...or irregardless...) of my personal nature, shouldn't I be able to be definitive and factual? Indeed I can, but mentally expecting myself to just walk in and remove that part of me would be like cutting off my right hand. If I had no right hand, I would be ineffectual in writing down all the pessimistic stuff I have to say.
Alas, Lord, give me optimism. And give me the capability to SEP-AR-ATE the factual from the feeling.
You crack me up. And yes, standing on fact/truth rather than our ever-changing female feelings is the moment by moment challenge--bringing every single thought captive. But you can do it. You know why? Because you already have His mind in you. It's there. We just have to choose it over these fleshly Eve ways and the desire to control every single happening in our lives. Whoa is me. Love you sister-friend. Wish you lived closer! Wish I did. :)
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