Zooming out.

This morning my prayer is that I would zoom out. Father, you've made me analytical by nature. You have placed in me a great ability to get to the root of problems and see past the initial "what seems to be." It is comfortable for me to stay in problem solving mode; I have developed a great friendship with figuring things out. But in the process, I have become critical. I have become an anxious mess that can't seem to disconnect from a job that you gave me. I am thankful for the challenge, but I have focused too long on the odds stacked against me. I zoomed in on each of those individual odds, all the facets and corners and dents and dings; the parts I understood and the parts I didn't understand and I lost the bigger picture. The bigger picture that sometimes you stack the odds against us so that you can show up and get all the glory. Gideon, Joseph, Abraham, David, Ester -- all found themselves in positions of facing insurmountable odds. Odds that you used to train, mold, and teach them. So, I will trust that in this time of what feels like insanity when all the odds are against me; that you Lord have placed them there. And that you Lord will walk me out of them.



I have prayed in the past to see the road ahead. I have asked you to show me the outcome of this road or to simple make the path clear to my feet. And it struck me today that you are not interested in if I can see the road ahead; only that I develop the faith to trust you when I can't.

What for 2010?

Last year around this time, I started asking the Lord to speak about what 2009 would hold. He clearly spoke that it would be a year of change. At the time, the thought of more change in my life sent me into an emotional tailspin. He gently spoke for me to stick close to his side and I would be ok.

So, here I am teetering on 2010, and looking back, it seems I heard Him correctly. As I look back, I see: the ending of our Primerica business, a near nervous breakdown, a 900 mile move, a deep chasm between Dave and I becoming obvious, the deep chasm being closed, my mom is engaged, my sister is moving to Massachusetts, my grandparents have deteriorated mentally and may have to be moved into assisted living, two changes in careers (financial to welding and medical to retail management) and we put a contract on our first home. Needless to say, it has indeed been a year of change. I'm thankful for His warning; He knew I would need to hear it in advance, and that I would need to cling to it in the midst.

Looking ahead lies a new year, a new home, new friends, new ministries and new opportunity. I have never felt more united with my husband, more excited about passing days and more hopeful for a developing future.

I have begun asking the Lord what this year will hold and am excited for his answer.